Wow. One hundred posts. That’s a lot. Obviously i don’t have enough to do…

i don’t really feel like blogging today, but like all the activities in my life that i should be savouring, somehow i have anaged to internalize it as an obligation. great.

Steve and i fought twice yesterday. i got out of the car on not so nice terms which then degenerated into my falling asleep dreaming of going to tarts and vicars in the sluttiest costume ever. which everyone knows is very very unlike me. if i show up, you will know we are broken up, not that i think we are, but it could happen. there was screaming, as usual. i am not a calm or particularly nice individual and telling him i didn’t give a fuck what his parents thought was just antagonistic (our fight started full bore in the entrance of his house and, yes, i slammed the door despite his dad being asleep). somehow, in the heat of the moment, i managed to justify this with a very contrite “well, he’s the one whose decided that we should continue living our lives in his parents homestead, in perpetuity”, but on the other hand, i also know that was unfair. i care what my parents think too. i shouldn’t be mad because he is considerate. i don’t give a fuck what they think, but i do care about him, which he saw as mutually exclusive propositions. oh well. i am tired of fighting. i am tired of complaining. i am tired of getting up in the morning.

well, that last paragraph would lead you to believe i was contemplating suicide, wouldn’t it. Alas, no. i am currently cooking lentil soup and made myself a very healthy egg salad wrap for lunch. i was waiting for my brother to get out of the shower so i could put some water in the kettle and make myself some tea. i have a paper to finish writing. i also read 2 articles this morning. i have been semi-productive if you factor in the laundry too.

I presume Jon Cayer would never deign to read this, but in case anyone who knows him accidentally comes across this - CONGRATULATIONS AGAIN! For those of you who don’t know him, he got accepted to Yale with a 6-year fellowship in Medieval French literature this week. It’s inspiring. Success is achievable (you just have to be as brilliant as Jon!).